The Day Before the Day
by Skaian Redeemer
Summary: Tomorrow, a young lady stands poised for an ELITE OPPORTUNITY!  Today, she's bored out of her skull.
1. Chapter 1

Your name is JANE CROCKER. It just so happens that today, the 10th of November, is INCREDIBLY BORING, HOLY CRAP.

TOMORROW is not going to be boring. TOMORROW is going to be down-right fantastic. But TODAY you have nothing to do but lollygag about your room. You suppose it may be a SCHOOL day, but you just aren't sure. Do you... do you go to school?

Oh, you should probably mention that you have ONGOING CANON AMNESIA. You're told it will clear up over the next few days, with details gradually being revealed. You know. To your mind.

Might as well make the best of it. What will you do?

** - Jane: Tour Room**

No, you're pretty sure you're not supposed to do that today.

** - Jane: Indulge in some hysteric fanfiction**

What a coincidence! You LOVE hysteric fanfiction! The kind with mysteries and criminals and dashing women with chainsaws and limited impulse control! You think you have some right here, in fact.

_Dame took a long drag from her hand-rolled cigarette, because it was the 30s and TOBACCO EMPIRES did not yet exist or something. She's not really clear on the details, probably because the details happen in the FUTURE. She looks across to the hardboiled SLUETH OF PROBLEMS and tells him that she has another case. Another case that might be... just up his alley._

_She is sadly interrupted when the stick of dynamite in her mouth threatens to go off and kill them all! She starts juggling about the ROOM. What does she do?_

Look at that you just wrote. That is brilliant. You could give up this BAKING thing, if it weren't one of your PASSIONS.

Oh, cool, you remembered something.

** - Jane: Indulge in some hysterically nervous fanfiction**

Nnnnnno that's private. A girl has to be allowed her imagination.

** - Jane: Indulge in some hysterically sluething fanfiction**

Well... that's less private. It is CANON, after all.

Actually, in hindsight, you can't remember what you SHIP. In fact, how does shipping even work? You have this vague itch that there might be more than one... type? Why do you think that? ...Nah.

This is turning out to be somewhat disappointing.

** - Jane: Ask your friends for advice!**

Yes! Your friends! You have lots of those! Like that guy, who does the stuff! Or that girl, with her things! Or that handsome guy, what's-his-name!

Wait, are you sure you have any friends?

You're not entirely sure you even have a pesterquirk. Or a chumhandle. In fact, is that what those are even called?

...Dammit.

** - Jane: Have Bunnysleuth investigate the case of the missing chumhandle!**

...Listen friend.

Bunnysleuth only investigates SERIOUS crimes.

And MEMORY THEFT Is the most serious of crimes!

You set up your toys and play with them for like an hour. OH GOD THIS IS SO MUCH FUN.

As you sit in the ruin of your bedroom, surrounded by stuffed toys and COMPANY PARAPHENALIA, you smile at the thought that you are so totally fifteen. Or something like that.

** - Jane: Perch on your desk and screech like a mongoose.**

...Nah, you're good for the rest of the day. There's a BUNNY on your head. That is the universal sign of preoccupation.

Thanks for the help, though!

It's too bad you'll never hear mysterious voices in your head again, though.

Nope.

* * *

><p><em>...<em>

_..._

_...first._

_Oh, like any of you can blame me._

_Okay, so, uh... this was the weirdest fic I've ever written. Suddenly it feels weird to write with characters that don't exist yet. Why is that? Is it because they don't exist yet? That's silly. You're silly._


	2. Chapter 2

_Just writing it as it comes, folks._

* * *

><p>Your name is JAKE "The Flame" ENGLISH and you are watching the Star Wars movies for the second time today, on eight separate screens (two for Clone Wars). You are also watching Robert Downey Jr. Sherlock Holmes, the Terminator Films, and the entirety of Marvel's relaunched universe, Picture-in-Picture. You could not even contemplate being BORED right now.<p>

** Jake: Stand on your head and-**

No! This was a hard-won PRIVILEGE and you are not about to just surrender it. It's films 'till sunset and target practice in the moonlight!

Well, maybe not "hard-won." It may have been handed to you on a bit of a silver platter with some offhand warning about "stress" and "demons" and "everyone you know being locked out of time in combat with a horrendous something something" you honestly having trouble remembering the details, maybe because of the EIGHT TELEVISION SETS THIS IS AMAZING.

** Jake: Share your bounty of film with your good friends.**

Well you would, but you're not entirely sure how to go about it. Video chat? Besides, they're probably all more than occupied. Texas is nice and warm right now, maybe...

Uh...

Dash it all, now this isn't a fair display of friendship, is it?

Well, you remember Jane's name. Maybe you should talk to her. You're sure she's perfectly well-occupied but you do tend to gravitate to her from time to time. Having a chance to see her face-to-face with her would be... kinda nice...

Look, can't a gent blush over his internal narration in peace?

** Dance the flaminco and puke on-**

Friend, you're going to have to leave.

Besides, you're about to put in the Smurfs. And if MYSTERIOUS VOICES in your head interrupt you during the Smurfs, things are going to come down to some SHITGNARLY FISTICUFFS.

Best day ever.


End file.
